Stupid Squirrel Infomercial

We have the stupidest smart squirrels ever! I think they can find their way into almost anything.  The search for a squirrel proof bird feeder has been difficult.  I had one that would close shut but those little tree rats hung off of it and chewed a hole in the side.  So then when they would jump on it, the sides would come down and all the seed would just pour right onto the ground.  They figured out how to get the lid off the suet feeder, hope it gave them the poops.   We even trained the terrier to terrorize the rodents on command.  They showed no fear of the chihuahua, I guess they thought he was one of them.  They are picky little things too, wont eat stale bread they want to good bird seed.  I think we finally have a solution. Here comes the infomercial:  The squirrel buster mini works!  It closes up and there isn't any plastic exposed for them to chew a hole in, genius!  It has them so stumped they don't even try anymore.  Either that or they are tunneling into my house with plans of raiding the refrigerator.  Mental note, pad lock refrigerator.  *runs to back yard, shakes fist, yells* "Your plan has been foiled! How ya like me now!"